Now I'm STRONGER!!!
Feeling bored yet getting stuffed up with matters in my little brain, I decided to pen down my thoughts... Its been 2 mths plus since I am with my existing company! It was kinda fresh and exciting on the first week but tings seem to gets boring as what i hae been working on is kinda routine and oso my teammates seem unfamiliar with one another though they noe each other for at least 2 yrs!! Things seem weird and I am quite emotional this year probably due to the clash with TAI SHUI!! haha.. I gets upset easily when I sense unfriendliness in my environment, it started with no lunch khakkis, team doesnt seems cooperative, blah blah....Sense of achievement achieved and self-compliment felt when I managed to set up my own environment but frustration sets in when I dun understand certain configuration nor the mechanism of the system and even though I was refered to a supposingly "kind" colleague but the help I get from was actually nothing but "Please read more on .... and you will come to understand!!" haha... its as if I am seeking the air for answers which came from my own echo!!! What a funny feeling!! So I told myself not to give up, try, try, try,... you can do it, calm down, cool mind works where angry mind does no help!!! And I slowly got my answer from goin thru all ups and downs and the satisfaction is much greater as compared to if I seek help from pple!! From then on, I told myself, I muz be persistent in whatever I do, I can do it if I want to!! Since then, I gained my confident whenever I solve my own problems and I become much independent!! Guess I hae to thank those "helpful" pple who "encourage" me to turn despair into energy!!!
However, things do change when time passed!! I am brightened up when few colleagues offered me to join them for lunch rather than be pushed to some pple who I hae no common interests nor topics to talk about!! The most upset was I feel like a ball when my team mates seem to push me to one another!! Common, I am adult not kid, I dun hae to be under your special care since your hae your own khakkis and I never hae the intention to break up a circle that I dun belong to!! Guess I cant blame them since they muz be defensive whenever there's new colleagues for its natural and intuitive that pple feel and react when they hae additional competitors!! These stressful working environment is a reality of society so I dun blame them though I was upset initially! However, I hae my own khakkis now! Though I do not really like my desk coz its located juz near the door, I feel like a guard, open door for pple who knock on it!! haha... and the worst was I am isolated from the world, what the hell man!! Why isnt there any internet then I realized I have to apply for it and when I could surf net, the feeling was fantastic, I jumped out from the well and start to sings and bump around on the green grass!!! haha...
Definitely, things get better when I cleared the air and work on the part assigned to me, new pc came which replace my antique pc and pple seem to be more friendly though some are still hostile and I realize there are lotsa of loners there!! Wondering if its the culture there!! haha... However, its quite happening at my new place as compared to my old working environment! There were certainly much more activities ongoin, it came with bdae celebrations for some colleagues in the mth of jan, then the recent event was TB! haha... motive was to bond and get us moving in the direction of the organization!! Fun though games werent that challenging and definitely tiring!! haha...
But certain downs came when I heard about ... unless more ... to support!! Quite depressed and feel devastated for its juz the beginning for me... But new opportunities make me persist on and I told myself once again, I am not goin to be easily defeated no matter how many times i have to try, suffer...!! I dun mind goin thru all pain and finally see fruits bear from my effort!! Its a kind of satisfaction!! haha... Tomolo's another new beginning, no despair, no slacking, nothing bad but great tings will happen to me and I believe that!!! Dun ever tink of putting me down and even if u did tat, dun be happy, I will pick myself up and I definitely gets stronger!!! You will fail to find the word "weakling" in my dictionary, so dun bother!!! HAHA... its juz a matter of time that I will become unbeatable!
posted by Rebecca @ 5:28 AM
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