Friday, January 21, 2005

Stress....

It has been a month plus since I started working at my current company and now I am starting to feel the stress! I have thought that my deadline for my loading scripts is end of jan but now everyone pressing me for the data! Of course I understand that they need it for testing and there's a presentation on the coming thursday! I am toiling hard and working everyday hoping to produce results but it does comes to time when I like to give up! Its so stressful, I feel the tension in my neck just like a powerful hand gripping my neck so tight that I cant breathe! However, I dun wish to give up! I have started and will like to complete it, I wanna see a good ending at the project and me grinning with success! I wondered if my pm sees the hard work that I put in anot else it will be kind of wasted cause I want to be converted to perm and I want a raise at the end of the year! Sometimes, I feel that my relationship with my colleagues have slowly drifted apart and I am feeling so depress over it. I did feel that it could be due to a new colleague who juz joined us. The other most possible reason for that was that I have been asking them questions and maybe they are irritated! Sigh Sigh... I also hope that I am the one answering questions and not enquiring all the time! It makes me feel so useless and so saddening that I had the thought of giving up several times! But never, I want to and will persevere on no matter what! I keep telling myself that I should not give up, its an action of weakling! So I am working on today and this weekend hoping to complete my job and happily awaits monday showing the results I had produced! I want to prove to them I can! Though now I dunnoe whether I can anot! Inside me there are 2 sides arguing, one the confidence angel telling me I can and the other devil telling me I cant! Argh... Guess I need a break after end of mth so that I can breathe fresh air!